Because Being 'Messed Up' May Turn Into Something Wonderful

Have you ever stared down a bottle of pills deciding whether to down them? Have you ever stood on the edge of the escarpment debating whether to jump, because surely if you didn’t die you would be brain damaged and wouldn’t life be better that way?

Have your thoughts ever terrified you so much that you don’t even know who you are anymore?

Some people say that suicide is selfish. Maybe it is, to those who have not experienced the racing and intrusive suicidal thoughts.

But for those of us who have had these terrible thoughts, it is about relieving constant pain, the harsh reality of continuing to live the way you’re living, and that people are better off without you.

Regardless if suicide is selfish, it devastates the people left behind and erases your opportunity of a future where you may change the world.

We are all unique and contribute in very different ways. No one else can laugh your laugh. No one else can smile your smile. We may not realize it but we are still alive for a reason and living is our destiny.

At times when in the depths of mental illness you forget or simply cannot see your uniqueness, your reason for living. We as health professionals can continue to recognize our patients’ unique attributes and constantly let them know their strengths and their endless possibilities.

People, especially young people, (including myself), have said, “I’m so messed up right now. What is the point of being messed up my entire life?”

Because being “messed up” may turn into something wonderful. It may be what makes you empathize with others so much, it may be “messed up” that you channel into creativity. The world is full of possibilities and “messed up” might be an avenue for you to achieve all that you have ever wanted.

I have an addiction to Pinteresting quotes. There, I admitted it. But I found one of my favourite anonymous quotes on Pinterest:
“Don’t let the fear of relapsing keep you from recovering.”

You cannot get better if you are always thinking about the fact that you might get ill again.

My original quote: “You can’t live in the future if you’re still living in the past.”

Let yourself get the help you need, let yourself open up, let yourself learn to trust again because “Life,” as Forrest Gump said, “is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” But let me assure you that even if you get orange chocolate or chocolate caramel- it is chocolate nonetheless and you know how awesome chocolate is.

Many patients and staff may understand too closely these suicidal thoughts and for that I am sad, but hopeful because at Ontario Shores we are helping to keep people safe, to preserve their unique selves and propel them into the future with open arms.

On September 10 we are celebrating World Suicide Prevention Day. I say celebrate because yes, we can mourn the loss of loved ones, but today we can be proud of the people we have helped, proud of ourselves for making it through the darkness and despair. Today, we can celebrate that we are key in suicide prevention and that with our assistance, those awful suicide statistics will cease to exist.

Today we are sending messages of hope and recovery to all struggling persons. During our Peer Support Groups the patients have had the opportunity to express themselves through art to encourage others to hold on, peer-to-peer.

Because with challenges and hardships come triumphs and positivity for making it through the seemingly impossible. We are all human and we will fall but we will get back up again. So on this day, please remind everyone why they’re so very important and unique.